


Watch the Sky

by Lir_Soracia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Amnesia, BAMF Magnus Bane, F/F, Fluff, Head of the Institute Alec Lightwood, Husbands, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Immortality, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Magical Accidents, Protective Magnus Bane, Romance, Seelie Court
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-01-23 05:38:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lir_Soracia/pseuds/Lir_Soracia
Summary: "Magnus?" Jace burst into the office looking confused as he scanned the two of them. "Alec was like, panicking in terror two minutes ago, I got here as quick as I could. What's going on, Alec?""I don't know?" Alec turned to look up at Magnus, questioning."He can't answer you right now," Magnus explained grimly. "Somebody just wiped his mind. There's... there's nothing left." His breath hitched and he closed his eyes.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 67
Kudos: 225





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PhoenixStar73](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixStar73/gifts).

> This is my take on amnesia tropes, it's going to be probably the fluffiest amnesia fic ever written, very light angst. This fic is not going to be a high priority until I finish some of my other fics, so it will probably update slowly, but comments always tempt me to write more. ;)

_I'm lost at sea_  
_The radio is jammed, but they won't find me_  
_I swear it's for the best,_  
_And then your frequency is pulling me in closer 'til I'm home_

_And I've been up for days_  
_I finally lost my mind_  
_And then I lost my way_  
_I'm blistered but I'm better_  
_And I'm home_

_I will crawl_  
_There's things that are worth giving up, I know_  
_But I won't let this get me_  
_I will fight_  
_You live the life you're given with the storms outside_  
_And somedays, all I do is watch the sky_

_I think I, I could use a little break_

_Today was a good day_

_ ~ Something Corporate - Watch the Sky_

Magnus answered his phone absently in the middle of the day, aware that it was his husband but not expecting anything more than Alexander calling to say hi because he had a minute, and the potion he was making needed careful watching.

"Magnus?" That was Alec's voice alright, but it was strained and panicked. "Magnus, I need... help. Please... help me." It sounded like the words were taking up all his concentration, as if he were very badly hurt.

"Where are you?" Magnus demanded, his potion forgotten as he tugged hard at his hair. Alexander should be at the institute. He shouldn't be in harm's way, at all.

"O-office?" Alec answered, his voice a little hazy. "Yes. Office. Please. _ Hurry." _

Magnus didn't bother replying, or even hanging up - the portal was already forming and the call dropped as he darted through it. He spotted Alec immediately, sitting at his desk, and only felt a little relieved.

"Alexander? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked, getting a very bad feeling about the delayed response. He took the phone out of Alec's hand where he'd still been holding it to his ear, and tilted Alec's chin up to get a look at his eyes. They were chaotic, and terrified.

"M-Magnus," Alec said determinedly, reaching up to hold onto Magnus' wrists with a vise grip. "S-something's... wrong. I'm... losing my mind. My memories. Everything in my head is... falling out. Like water." His eyes closed in exhaustion, then flew open again in distress.

"I can't remember your name, already," he said painfully. "Please, please kiss me before--" _ Before that's gone too. _

Horrified and helpless, Magnus couldn't do anything else, leaning in to kiss him hard and feeling it returned with desperate intensity - and then it stopped. Alec slumped in his arms, not unconscious, just looking around in confusion.

"Shh," Magnus murmured, mostly to himself as he blinked back tears. He reached up to run his fingers through Alec's hair, searching both magically and by touch for something that might explain this. He found nothing but confirmation of a terrible empty void in Alec's head.

"Okay," he said, trying to think, "okay." He caught both of Alec's hands and held them firmly, clasping them around each other and placing them on Alec's chest. "I need you to sit here for me a minute, okay? Just like that. Don't touch anything."

Alec nodded at him, wide-eyed and serious, but Magnus couldn't tell how much of it he was actually following. Sighing heavily, he decided the sooner he left the sooner he'd get back, and hurried out of the room.

"Isabelle! Jace!" he shouted, hoping one or both was nearby. He spotted Isabelle in Ops as she looked up, startled. Relieved to have gotten her attention so quickly, he turned immediately and headed back to the office.

"What's going on?" she asked a moment later, sticking her head in.

"Whatever it is that you do when you set off your alarms, do it. Lock this place down, immediately. Someone just attacked Alec." Magnus told her grimly.

Isabelle gasped, one hand flying to her mouth while she checked her brother for injuries. "He looks fine," she said, more in disbelief than in argument.

Alec was looking back and forth between them, a tiny frown between his eyebrows.

"He's not fine, Isabelle," Magnus snapped, hand tightening on Alec's shoulder. He was about to tell her to just go do it when Alec's soft voice interrupted.

"I'm not fine," he echoed, twisting to look up at Magnus with his familiar bright hazels. "Am I fine?"

"No, lover, you are not even a little bit fine right now," Magnus told him, rubbing agitatedly at Alec's shoulder.

Alec's face lit up. "Is that who I am?" he asked. "Am I your lover?"

Izzy snorted softly. "Oh boy," she mumbled under her breath.

The sound Magnus made was half a sob and half laughter. "Yes, you are, darling," he assured Alec.

Shaking her head, Izzy went to sound the alarms, poking her head back in briefly to tell Magnus that Jace was on his way.

"Magnus?" Jace burst into the office looking confused as he scanned the two of them. "Alec was like, panicking in terror two minutes ago, I got here as quick as I could. What's going on, Alec?"

"I don't know?" Alec turned to look up at Magnus, questioning.

"He can't answer you right now," Magnus explained grimly. "Somebody just wiped his mind. There's... there's nothing left." His breath hitched and he closed his eyes. "He called me at home, saying he needed help; he was still lucid when I got here, but just barely. He managed to tell me that everything was falling out of his head, all his memories, everything he knows...it's all gone."

"Shit," Jace muttered, closing his eyes.

"I want to take him home," Magnus explained, "but first I need to check the wards, and you and Isabelle need to deal with the lockdown. Somehow, someone effected a magical attack _ inside _the institute, and we need to figure out how."

"Yeah," Jace muttered, rubbing his face. "Alright, I'll go talk to Izzy, you do what you need to... are you gonna keep an eye on him, or should I call someone?"

"He can stay with me," Magnus said quickly, not really wanting to let Alec out of his sight right now.

"I'm sorry," Alec mumbled as Jace left the room.

"Why are you sorry, darling?" Magnus asked him, running his fingers through Alec's messy hair.

"I'm causing trouble," Alec said, looking faintly distressed. "I should be... helping, I want to help, but I don't remember anything. My head is just _ empty _. Why don't I remember?"

"It's not your fault," Magnus assured him, kissing his forehead. "Someone attacked you, and we're trying to find out who. And how. The first thing I need to do is check the wards around here, see if someone got through."

"Oh," Alec murmured, still looking confused, but he let Magnus take his hand and pull him out of his chair.

"Come here," Magnus told him, giving in to weakness for the moment and wrapping his arms around his husband's waist, holding him tight. To his relief, Alec didn't hesitate to wrap him up and hug him back, and Magnus crumpled a little in his arms, trembling with the effort of holding back tears.

"Shh," Alec said softly, rubbing a soothing hand down his spine. "Don't cry, please don't cry," he entreated. "I don't know what to do if you cry, I really can't stand it, please don't..."

Magnus let out a watery chuckle, torn between laughing and crying. "Oh, Alexander," he sighed.

"That's me," Alec mused to himself, "right? Alexander is me, and you are Magnus."

"That's right," Magnus agreed in a slightly choked voice.

"And you're my lover, so I have to take care of you," Alec continued seriously, still rubbing Magnus' back in soothing circles. "I know I don't remember, but I'm still here, okay?" He shifted back a little to look Magnus in the eye, cupping his face in large, warm hands. "I'm here for you, I promise. You still have me, that will never change. I won't let you be sad, okay? I'll stay with you no matter what, and everything will be okay. You and me, we'll make it okay."

"I th-thought you didn't want me to cry," Magnus whispered, tears streaming down his face as he struggled not to just sob at his husband's words. The beautiful hazel eyes were so bright and earnest, so completely open and sincere, and Magnus could hardly believe that a man who didn't even remember him was trying to comfort and reassure _ him. _

"Shhh," Alec murmured, brushing Magnus' tears away with his thumbs. "I'm right here, baby. I'm right here. Shhh now. You're too beautiful to cry." He pulled Magnus into a hug again, rocking him back and forth as Magnus buried his face in his chest.

"I'm scared," Magnus admitted softly, fingers digging into Alec's back where he was holding on too tightly. "I'm so scared."

Alec hummed wordlessly in acknowledgement, pressing a kiss to his temple. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "We'll figure it out."

"Yeah," Magnus sighed, wishing he felt half as sure as Alec sounded. Would they? Or had he lost part of his husband forever?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just fluff, pretty much, but we get Alec's pov! 😘

Magnus stayed in his husband's arms for a long few minutes, resting against his chest, but finally pulled away and wiped his eyes, grimacing a little as his makeup smeared. 

"That won't do," he muttered, snapping his fingers to fix it. 

"Whoa," Alec said, his eyes going wide as the magic sparked and fluttered around Magnus' fingers. "Are you magic?" 

Magnus chuckled affectionately. "I'm a warlock, darling," he explained. "Yes, I can do magic."

"Wow," Alec breathed, giving him a sweet smile. "That's so cool." 

"It can be," Magnus agreed, smiling back and feeling just a little lighter in his chest. "Right now, I need to use my magic to check the wards and make sure they are still intact." 

"What are wards?" Alec asked, his nose wrinkling cutely in curiosity. 

Magnus laughed a little, taking Alec's hand and squeezing it. "Wards are magical protections, invisible barriers that keep out things like demons and foreign magic and ill intent," he explained. "I set them up myself, so they are very strong. If someone managed to get through them, we will have a serious problem," he noted gravely. 

"I'm sure they're fine," Alec said confidently, lifting Magnus' hand to kiss the knuckles. "If they're yours, they must be okay." 

"We'll see," Magnus said with a sigh, but he couldn't help the flicker of a smile at Alec's words, the confidence lighting a warmth inside him, despite the fact that Alec couldn't possibly know how good his magic was. The blind faith was still touching, and he tugged Alec's hand to pull him along. "Let's go, darling, time to get to work." 

Alec nodded seriously, following him out of the office and down the hall. 

\------

Alec was feeling weird, which he figured was normal when he suddenly had no memories. It made him feel off balance, but Magnus.... Magnus was a brilliant, solid anchor in the confusion. 

Magnus was the one thing he had no question about. He was beautiful, shining and perfect, and he loved Alec. It must be hurting him that Alec couldn't remember, but he was still there, caring and supportive and Alec wanted to give him anything and everything he needed. 

He didn't question the feeling, the knowing that he belonged, because even without his memories he knew it, that he belonged to Magnus, and Magnus was his. So he had to do his best to take care of Magnus even without his memories. 

It might not be easy, but he held tight to Magnus' hand and followed him down the hall. "Wow," he breathed when Magnus stopped to do magic, watching mesmerised as the light swirled and formed patterns and responded to Magnus' expert touch. It was amazing, and he felt proud that his lover had this kind of power. 

Magnus murmured to himself as he worked, and Alec watched intently, filing away facts as he learned things all over again. His head felt strangely empty, but that meant he had plenty of room to fill it up with Magnus. He smiled contentedly, feeling perfectly okay with that. 

There were a few other people they passed in the halls, everyone looking busy and serious, but they often took a minute for a respectful nod and greeting as they went by. Alec would study them curiously as he nodded back and wonder how well he was supposed to know them. 

Magnus explained to him that Alec was actually their boss, the Head of the Institute and in charge of everyone in the building. They were Shadowhunters, they used their runes to fight demons and defend people who didn't have magic. That was a bit sobering, really, the idea that so many people were depending on him to do a job he couldn't remember. He shivered a little and swallowed hard, moving closer to Magnus. 

It was going to be okay. Somehow. They would fix it, they would make it together. He knew it, somewhere deeper than feeling. 

"Mr. Lightwood-Bane!" A voice interrupted and he turned automatically at the volume of it, wondering who they were calling. A young Shadowhunter who looked a bit frantic was heading straight for them, waving a sheaf of papers. 

Magnus also turned around, moving to stand at Alec's shoulder and raising an eyebrow at the young woman. "I'm sorry, who are you looking for?" he asked politely. "I am Mr. Lightwood-Bane, and so is my husband," he pointed out, laying a possessive hand on Alec's arm. 

Both Alec's brain and his breath fizzled out, sheer wonder washing over him. Husband? Magnus was his husband? Somehow he hadn't considered it, had been content to know they were together without asking exactly how. But this felt.... a little unreal. 

He raised his left hand to look, and sure enough, a wedding ring rested on his finger. He drew in a ragged breath, feeling stunned. But he didn't really have time to fully process his reaction, Magnus and the girl were talking again. 

"I need him," she told Magnus apologetically, gesturing to Alec. "Sir, you need to look at this," she said, turning to Alec and pushing the papers in her hand at him. 

Alec took them on autopilot, shuffling through them in confusion and looking at Magnus for help. He didn't know what he was looking at, what any of it was supposed to mean. 

Sighing deeply, Magnus took the papers from him and briefly flipped through them, his mouth tightening grimly as he shook his head. He handed them back to the Shadowhunter girl. 

"I'm sorry," he said gently, "but Alexander can't help you right now. There was a magical attack on him that we are trying to solve - in the meantime you need to take that to Isabelle, she will handle it. She's the acting Head right now." 

"Oh," the girl said, looking confused and worried. "I'm sorry, I didn't know... are you okay, sir? Were you hurt?" she asked Alec. 

Alec shook his head, trying to give her a reassuring smile as he leaned into the warmth of Magnus beside him. "It's alright, I'll be fine," he told her. "Go on, and don't worry, we're taking care of it." 

The young shadowhunter nodded, giving him a sharp salute and heading back down the hall where she'd come from. 

Magnus let out a long sigh of relief, and rubbed absently at his forehead. "Well, that could have gone worse," he observed. 

Alec ignored this, turning to face him and reaching for his left hand, holding it up to compare Magnus' wedding ring to his own. 

"I'm your husband," he said in a hushed whisper, eyes fixed on the simple but beautiful rings that sealed their commitment. 

"I... yes," Magnus agreed after a minute, searching his face as if he were unsure about the reaction. "We've been married about a year now. The power couple of the shadow world," he added, trying to inject some lightness. "The Head of the Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, quite a match." 

Alec raised his eyes to study him intently, looking at him with fierce intensity as he cradled their hands against his chest. "Those promises I made," he swore, "I'll keep them. I'm yours, everything I am, whether I remember or not. I'm your husband, no matter what. You..." His voice trembled, and he swallowed, aching. "You're going to be okay, we are, together. I promise." 

There were tears in Magnus' eyes again, but he blinked them back, breathing harshly for a minute. "Together," he said finally. 

Alec nodded firmly, and released their hands a little sheepishly, hoping he hadn't crushed them too tightly. "Sorry," he mumbled, but Magnus waved it away. 

"Never apologise for holding on," he said softly, reaching up to touch Alec's cheek, and Alec's eyes slid closed as he leaned into the touch. "I always want you to."

"Then I always will," Alec whispered, opening his eyes to look into the warm, amber brown ones of his... husband. His husband, for real. He was never going to get tired of that incredible thought. 

Magnus sighed, looking regretful as he dropped his hand. "Come on," he said, "we still have work to do." 

Alec nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it as he followed his husband's lead. Honestly, he would follow this beautiful, amazing man anywhere. He was so incredibly lucky. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longish hiatus, real life splintered around me back in early February and took me for a pretty harsh ride. I've had little energy even to read, let alone write. But I think things are getting better! Here is a longish chapter which I hope goes some way toward making up for my absence, and thank you so much for the comments and support many of you have left. It means a lot and I love you all to pieces for sticking with me and reminding me that y'all still want to see more of my stories. You are lovely, wonderful human beings. ❤️❤️❤️

Magnus was terribly worried and frustrated by the time he finished checking the wards and headed back toward Ops with Alec. He had found nothing, not a single sign of any breach or problem, the wards all shining and strong and perfect. 

He caught Isabelle's eye as they drew near, and jerked his head at her to join them in a slightly quieter spot. She came over eagerly, worry lighting her face as she reached for his hands, clinging a little bit. 

"Did you find - anything?" she asked hopefully, and Magnus merely shook his head. Her face fell, and she bit her lip, squeezing his hands hard for a minute before letting go and folding her arms against her chest. Finally she looked reluctantly at her brother, not really sure how to handle him not remembering her. 

"Are you okay?" Alec asked worriedly, because she looked about to cry, and brothers did not let sisters cry. "Magnus said you're... doing my job right now, I'm sorry," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Is it... too much, or..."

Isabelle stared at him, raised an eyebrow at Magnus, and then waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about the job, the Institute is fine, I can handle it with Jace's help until we know what's going on with you." She frowned at him. "You don't remember anything?" 

Alec shook his head. "Not - not from before," he admitted. "I remember new things I learn though," he said hopefully, as if that might help. "Magnus told me all about magic and demons and the shadow world, and he's a really amazing warlock," he added, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. 

Snorting softly, Isabelle shook her head, amused. She threw a look at Magnus and was surprised to see a faint blush on his face. That was interesting. 

"Magnus is my husband," Alec went on proudly, "we're married, see?" He held out their hands with the rings as if she might not have seen them before. 

"I'm aware," Isabelle answered dryly, looking at Magnus. "All of the New York shadow world and Alicante is aware. You'll have your hands full, Magnus, somehow he's even worse like this."

Alec made a wounded noise, not sure what that meant but sure she was making fun of him. "Hey, you're my sister, you're supposed to be nice to me!" 

Pursing her lips, Isabelle studied him. "Alec, my darling brother, you are very sweet like this, but even when you had all your memories you were a sap, and now it seems you're even more of one. I really don't know how you can manage to love Magnus even more when you can't remember him."

Alec frowned. "It's not like that," he objected, shaking his head sharply. "I feel the same as I did before, I think - whatever erased my memories can't touch my feelings. But maybe I am better right now at showing what I feel," he admitted, blushing and looking down. 

"Hey," Magnus said, tugging on Alec's hand and turning him to face him, reaching up to cup his face with the other hand. "You've always been good enough for me, okay? I've always known you love me. Together, right?" 

The beautiful hazel green eyes he loved slid closed as Alec leaned into the touch, humming and nodding his agreement. Magnus sighed and looked wryly at Isabelle. "I want to take him home now, do you need anything else?" 

Isabelle's throat worked as she swallowed and she nodded slightly. "A hug," she requested in a soft, choked voice, looking sad. 

"I'm sorry," Alec said, immediately straightening and turning toward her. "You're my sister, you shouldn't have to ask, I'm sorry..." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, hugging her tightly and rocking her back and forth. 

"It's okay," she mumbled into his shoulder, but her body shuddered with emotion, tears finally falling. Alec laid his cheek against her dark hair and just stood there for a few minutes, holding her. 

"Okay," Isabelle said finally, pulling away and wiping carefully at her eyes. "You guys go home, then, and maybe see what you can find out from the Downworld, Magnus? We'll keep working from this end."

"There's a number of things I can do or try," Magnus agreed, "I can look for a magical solution, and try to find a similar spell. It may be someone has heard of it before."

Isabelle looked marginally more hopeful at that, nodding as she waved goodbye at them and headed back to work. 

Magnus pulled Alec into an empty hallway before making a portal that would take them to the loft. Since the Institute was technically still on lockdown, it wouldn't be good for anyone to see them leaving. 

He explained the portal to Alec, who looked apprehensive but followed him readily enough, never letting go of his hand. 

It was a huge relief to be in his own space again, where they were safe, and he raised his strongest wards immediately. "How are you feeling?" he asked his husband, who was looking around with a little smile on his face. 

"I don't know," Alec said absently, looking wonderingly at all the beautiful things in the apartment, all working in harmony together. It was warm, and cozy, and comforting. "I'm fine, I think. It feels like home," he added softly, waving at the space around them. 

Magnus relaxed a little. "I'm glad for that," he replied, smiling crookedly as he went to make himself a drink. "Drink?" he asked Alec, and Alec shrugged. 

"Sure, why not?" Alec agreed. He had no memories of drinking, but it felt familiar, and he was curious to try it again. A moment later, Magnus handed him a glass, and he sipped it carefully, wrinkling his nose a little at how strong it was. 

"Ahhh, I haven't seen that face for awhile," Magnus said fondly, smiling at him over the top of his own glass. 

Alec blushed. "It's good," he said hurriedly, "just...strong." He took a larger sip and ignored Magnus' laughter. 

"Don't worry," Magnus told him, moving closer and reaching out to trace his cheek with the tip of one finger. "It's a very cute face, I always want to kiss it right off you." The tip of his finger tapped Alec's nose, which wrinkled again helplessly. 

His eyes were warm and brown and full of humour, warmth and love, so much love and an edge of desire, and Alec couldn't breathe. He felt completely safe despite the world being a huge unknown, here he felt safe, and warm, and  _ wanted.  _ It was an amazing feeling, and he licked his lips, leaning closer in yearning. 

"Then maybe you should," he told Magnus in a rough, breathless,  _ desperate _ voice, nearly dropping his drink as his hands flexed, aching to touch. "Please," he whispered. 

Magnus leaned toward him helplessly, unable to resist when his husband used  _ that  _ tone of voice. He vanished both their glasses without really thinking about it, needing both hands to clutch at Alec's strong arms. He lifted up on his toes to brush their lips together, and Alec made a sound like the breath had been punched out of him. The last thread of his self control snapped with the sound, and Magnus kissed him again, deeper and more desperate like he had when the last of Alec's memories were fading away. 

For Alec it was overwhelming, intoxicating, better than he could have dreamed. His hands settled on Magnus' hips, pulling him closer, and even though he didn't remember ever kissing anyone before, this felt so familiar that for the moment he didn't even question how his body seemed to just know what to do. He let Magnus take possession of his mouth, groaning a little at the feelings sweeping through him. He wondered vaguely if some of it was magic, sinking into his body from Magnus' touch. 

He didn't realise Magnus was crying until his hands slid up Alec's arms to cradle his neck, giving their kiss a better angle and brushing Alec's cheek with his tears. Startled and worried, Alec broke the kiss, pulling back just far enough to get a look at his husband's face. 

"Hey, hey," he said softly, "look at me, lover, are you okay?" His arms wrapped securely around Magnus’ waist, keeping him close and holding him tight. 

Magnus' eyes fluttered open slowly, and he bit his lip as he realised. "I'm sorry," he whispered. 

"Don't be sorry," Alec told him, nuzzling his temple. "It's okay, you're okay. I'm going to take care of you, remember? No matter what. I don't want you to be sad," he murmured, kissing Magnus on the cheek, "but I understand. I'm sorry I'm hurting you," he said in helpless frustration. 

"You're not," Magnus assured him quickly, "you're not, the only good thing in all this has been you. Still being willing to hold me when you... don't know who I am." His breath hitched, and his hands tightened on Alec's shoulders. 

"Shh," Alec said, pulling him closer till there was no space between them, and curling one large hand around the back of his neck, pulling Magnus' head to his shoulder. Magnus let his own hands slip down to rest on Alec's chest, making him feel warmth blooming under his skin. 

"I know enough," he murmured into Magnus' hair, surprisingly soft despite its styled appearance. "I know you're beautiful, talented, amazing, and you're mine. I know that you're kind, and strong, and a leader. I know that you love me, and I love you, whether I remember it all or not. I know we belong together, that I would be crazy to let you go, even for a moment. I know that you're precious," he added after a minute. "And I'm the one who gets to keep your heart safe. I don't need to know anything else."

Magnus let himself rest there for a long minute, feeling loved and surrounded, safely in his husband's arms in spite of everything. "I love when you get like this," he admitted, sighing softly. "All honest and poetic. You mean everything to me, you know? I couldn't bear to lose you."

"You won't," Alec said firmly, drawing back to look him in the eye, and kissing him soundly on the lips. "You'll never lose me, not because of this. Nothing can keep us apart, we promised. I'll always be here, even if...I'll always be here." 

Magnus heard the words in between,  _ if I never remember,  _ and his heart thudded painfully. He was grateful for the conviction in Alec's voice, the steady light in his beautiful eyes, but it still hurt like a knife in the gut. So much was gone, torn away without warning, and all he could do was cling to what he had left. Alec was still here, and he wasn't leaving. That had to be enough. 

"Kiss me again," he said in soft, choked voice. 

Instead of words, instead of saying  _ I love you,  _ Alec bent down to kiss him deep and fervent, pouring all of the emotion that so inexplicably filled his soul into kissing Magnus.  _ I love you, you're mine, you're everything.  _

Magnus trembled in the strong embrace that was still holding him close, the passionate tenderness so familiar he could almost forget that this was not yesterday, that today had happened and nearly stolen his husband completely. He felt the words that weren't said, knew the meaning in every touch and kiss as Alec moved on to dropping little kisses all over his face, behind his ear and down his neck, nuzzling there for a moment. 

"I should mark you up," Alec said, the low and husky voice curling through him like liquid darkness. "So you know you still belong to me." Magnus shivered, his fists clenching in Alec's shirt. 

"Yes, please," he said mindlessly, heedless of anything but pressing closer, only wanting more, anything Alec was willing to give him. He tilted his head to allow better access, and moaned aloud as Alec bit down at the curve of his neck and shoulder, sucking hard at the skin. 

Usually this went the other way around, he loved leaving marks on Alec and Alec loved wearing them, not that they hadn't both left their share over the years, but this time he wanted it for himself, to feel the sense of possession and belonging that came with it. 

"Fuck," he said breathlessly as Alec moved on, leaving another mark on the side of his neck, on his throat, and next to his collarbone. It felt so good, Magnus barely realised that his hips were moving, bucking forward and grinding against his husband. 

Alec groaned and bit down harder on Magnus' shoulder, pushing back against him as they moved together in a rhythm that felt familiar, growing erections rubbing against each other. His fingers dug into Magnus’ back, pulling him as close as possible, but somehow it didn't feel close enough. 

He left off sucking at Magnus' skin to lave it with his tongue, soothing the marks he'd left and lifting his head to catch his breath, pressing their foreheads together. He wanted more, wanted everything, but he knew this was a delicate situation. They were married, but the loss of his memory left them at an unequal imbalance, and he didn't know if further intimacy would make things better, or worse. 

Magnus was running his hands down Alec's sides, sliding beneath his shirt and stroking warm skin, lost in the familiar heat that rose between them. It felt the way it always did, the way they fit perfectly together, moved in sync at a level deeper than merely physical, touches so well known and loved. He was letting himself get swept away in it, letting himself forget the pain and fear of the day, letting it soothe the ragged edges of his soul. 

"I want you," Alec said in a strained voice, like he was holding back great emotion, and Magnus hummed his agreement without registering anything out of the ordinary. "Can we...Magnus," Alec said insistently, and Magnus finally opened his eyes, giving him a puzzled look. 

Alec laughed breathlessly, and pulled back far enough to reach up and touch Magnus' cheek, fingers careful and reverent as he ran them over the sharp cheekbone, trailing his knuckles down the jawline. 

"Can we... I want to, to hold you and touch you everywhere, love you like you deserve, I want to make love to you... is that okay?" 

Magnus blinked at him for a moment, not understanding why he was asking, and then he remembered. He let out a shuddery breath and squeezed his eyes shut, only then realising he'd lost control of his glamour. Alec hadn't said anything. 

"I want...I want you to," he whispered, opening his eyes again and meeting Alec's intense gaze with something like hope. The hazel eyes were dark with need, never wavering in the slightest. 

"Okay then," Alec murmured softly, pressing their foreheads together again and taking a long slow breath, inhaling the intoxicating scent that was Magnus and trying to memorise it, wanting fiercely to never forget it again. Not any of this, never. 

"Come on," he said, straightening and sliding his hand down Magnus' arm, linking their fingers. "Show me your - our bedroom," he corrected himself, love and laughter and heat, and just a hint of mischief shining in his eyes. 

Magnus fell helplessly into them, drowning in the need to feel and experience everything those oh-so-familiar eyes and tiny crooked smirk promised. 

"Yes," he breathed, and then drew back a little, biting his lip and tearing his eyes away from Alec's in favour of tugging him further into the apartment, toward the bedroom door. 

"This way," he said, hearing the husky tone and tight excitement in his own voice. He wanted,  _ needed  _ this so badly, and Alec being willing, even wanting to give it to him now - on merely the base of shared promises and warmth he didn't remember - made his chest ache with love and hope and a soul deep, painful sense of gratitude. 

This could have been worse. This could be so  _ much  _ worse. Just the idea of it made him hold more tightly to Alec's hand, not wanting to let go for a second. 

Alec murmured something reassuring that he didn't catch, and as they entered the room he turned, pulling Magnus into his arms once again and holding him tight, pressing kisses to his neck and shoulder. 

"I'm here," he said against Magnus' warm skin. "I'm here, beautiful. I'll always be here. Just relax, and let me make you feel good." He didn't remember exactly how to do that, but he'd trusted his instincts so far and he was pretty sure that his body knew what to do, even if his mind didn't. 

Magnus took a deep, shuddering breath from where his head laid on Alec's shoulder, letting his husband's familiar scent sink in deeply and calm him, the embrace and the words easing the edge of his desperation. 

"I love you," he said as he drew back a little, meeting Alec's eyes again, letting him see how fervently he meant it. 

"I love you too," Alec told him, and the determined fire in his eyes was familiar from the time of their engagement, from the time when he'd come to Edom because he refused to let Magnus go. It was comforting on a deep level, and Magnus let his worries fade for now, washed away in the tide of heat as Alec kissed him again, their hands moving instinctively to push clothing off and aside. 

Every touch lit fire on their skin, sparks across their nerve endings, electricity down their spines. They both sank eagerly into it, deep kisses and skin on skin and urgent hunger and need, letting the fire and the bone-deep feeling of rightness and connection sweep them away. 

It was okay. They still had this, had each other in every possible way, on every level. Still fit together perfectly and felt as if their souls joined along with their bodies. No words and no memories were needed to confirm the deep, intense feeling of  _ knowing,  _ of belonging. 

They would hold on to each other for now and forever, and maybe, just maybe, it was all going to be okay. 


End file.
